First of all, I don’t know the answer for you. Of course I don’t. Only you can really sense into the intricate timing of your life.
But I do know what was true for me, and what I’ve noticed from listening closely to my clients leading up to, during, and after these types of transitions.
Why don’t I share some of these ideas and we’ll see what resonates for you.
Signs that it may be time to go:
- A really exciting and very scary new opportunity has come up
- You feel exhausted all the time
- You regularly feel disrespected and unappreciated
- You feel taken advantage of
- It’s like you’re in a dysfunctional family and no one is open to therapy. (Only—reminder—you’re not actually stuck with this work family)
- You’re staying because it may fall apart without you
- You’re high on your work and it’s making you sick
- Your ego is happy but your soul aches
- You feel creatively underutilized
- You feel creatively used
- When you complete a project, you feel a little robbed
- You have trouble calling yourself an artist but you love to be near other artists
- You can’t deal with the schedule
- You can’t deal with the culture
- You can’t deal with the furniture. Your body badly needs a different setup
- You’re staying for the money
(This one comes with an important caveat: there is nothing wrong with staying for the money and at times it’s essential. But, if everything else feels off besides the money, you can at least dream bigger and work on the possibility of that dream becoming real)
- You’re excited about an idea that won’t quit (even if you don’t know what to call it or how to describe it)
- You wish you had the courage, or the talent, or the money, or the support to go out on your own, but you’re scared that you don’t
Ok, let’s check in here. Did any of these ring a bell?
If so, let me pause to acknowledge the discomfort you may be in. Let me invite you to take a breath of self-compassion.
Any one of the items above could be reason enough to leave your job.
If you were listening to a friend describe your situation, you’d probably want the best for them. You might even feel it was obvious that they should leave.
But if you’re still there now, it’s for a reason. So here’s what we can do:
- Honor the reasons you’re still there
- Make a list of the reasons. Write them down, even if it’s a quick list on a napkin. Go ahead, I’ll wait right here for you. 🙂
- Now, look at each item on your list, one by one, and ask yourself, why is this important??
- You may notice that you do have some very solid reasons for staying. Let’s honor that. Complexity is present, and true.
- Reduce the restraining forces that keep you from leaving.
- Look back at your list with an eye for the things that scare you about leaving. For each one, ask yourself, if this actually happened, what would I do? Could I handle it? Does avoiding this actually make sense to me as a sound reason to stay?
- Increase the carrot
- Maybe what you need is a vision, a really easy action plan, and a support system that gives you momentum and accountability.
- If this were suddenly easy and low-risk, what could you imagine yourself doing?
- Let yourself get into the details of the dream of it. What would it smell/taste/look/sound/feel like to be doing that dream?
Spend some time with it.
Xo
India